Moving!

Difficult times has not completely rolled over for me. My mom and I will be moving from a 2 bedroom apartment down to a studio. Yes. Where to put all our crap? Who knows. All I know is I'm going to have to scrap a lot of things, give up my fish tanks + fishies, and bed. So the pleasant aftermath? A clean slate, clean room, better organization. No more being a hoarder and buying useless knick knacks and definitely no more impulse buying. <3 I got plenty of projects! Probably going to toss out my computer table for a new compact computer desk with shelves definitely and possibly make a heart shape wall shelf <3 Spray paint some things pink and viola... pink goodness! TT4N!

5 years and 9 months

Just a couple more months till our six year anniversary. Baby got me a card for today. Its sweet. Its something small but he hasn't gotten me a card in a long long time. <3 Love you booboo!

Life

Life is different without my father. Mom is doing better than she was last week. Finally spent the day with just mom and I at home without Helen... it turned out fine. Took her to Eastridge and cooked pork chops at home.

I know things are so random. I don't know what to say but thanks to all my family and friends. My fathers funeral went well and had a bigger crowd than we expected. I'm sure he felt very appreciated and loved. But this chapter has ended and another will begin... I feel like my life should change for the better. I have to find a job and work harder in school. I need to take care of my mom now. I feel that she needs to also move on with life and not take care of anyone other than herself. Something she hasn't been doing since I was born. Been going to the temple with mom and kneeling like there is no tomorrow! I have a new found respect for those who pray all day on their knees. Its not easy! My knees are all bruised! The monk made fun of me saying, "you seem like you're in pain because I saw you fidgeting."

Ahhh. The show must go on right? I'm sure my dad doesn't want to see us all down and crying. He would want us to take better care of ourselves and just live life. He loves us as do we love him. Everything will be ok as long as we try.

R.I.P. Daddy

I love you dad. You are my everything and I wish your afterlife turns out better for you. I will always remember and cherish my precious time with you and all the memories we have created. Its hard for me to accept that you are gone now since your health declined so fast. I miss you very much dad. Please don't wander around aimlessly in limbo and just find peace with Buddha and Grandfather. Everyone here loves you and fondly remembers you. You are our precious father that no one can replace. I only wish you were able to live a little longer and healthier life.

Tran T. Huy
October 28, 1954 (June 29, 1959) - June 7, 2011 @ 6:38pm
I love you.

Dad's Viewing is at Alameda Family on Sunday, June 12, 2011 from 9:00am to 2:00pm
12341 Saratoga-Sunnyvale Rd., Saratoga, CA 95070

Reality Check

The most painful decision in life is how will you decide to put an end to your love ones life. My father has had a serious stroke and it has left him incapacitated. He is on hospice care and now his health has taken a complete dive downhill. It is scary knowing that there isn't anything we can do to save him so we are left with the ethical question of should we treat him or not? He is most likely infected with a pneumonia and other infections. Doctors say he has months or even weeks to live. They also say that most patients die because of a pneumonia and that it was the best way to go for any person in his condition. I wish it wasn't true and I really was hopeful of him to pull through all the obstacles however this isn't the case anymore. the reality of everything has finally hit our family and we must be strong to make preparations for the oncoming months. What I am saying is... my father is dying and whether we want to treat his pneumonia or let him die because of it. If we treat his pneumonia, it will come back anyway because he can't move therefore he has a high chance of catching a pneumonia again... That means we will prolong his suffering on back pains, bed sores, and further infections just to maintain our selfish needs of not wanting to let him go... Honestly, it is hard... very hard to see your precious person die but it is even harder just watching them suffer slowly until he passes away. Do we really want to aggressively let him pass away... or just prolong his suffering? His functionality will never recover and his brain is already in a vegetable like state... What should we do? I know the best thing for him is just to let him go but its difficult to say goodbye. I love my father very much but it is little that we can do to help ease his pain or help him at all...

A Creative Weekend with the Kids

Annie's Hand LoL

Charms made by the kids and I

Busy weekend with my little cousins and her friends. This is the first time teaching someone how to make clay charms and it was kind of challenging. Taught the two kids (Jasmine and Annie) how to make creamsicles, toast, watermelon, and croissant. As you can tell, I drew on the faces because I have a steadier hand. All in all, it was a fun weekend. Too bad I didn't get much studying done. However, I've been so stressed out over the past two months; good to blow off some steam and relax just for a bit. I'll continue to teach them next weekend. Should be fun! More projects to come! 

Craziness!

Its winding down to the last two weeks of school and its just madness... I've been taking care of my dad for two weeks and I honestly feel that I need a long vacation or at least... have one thing less to worry about and thats school work...

On Tuesday there was a shooting at school... 10th Street Garage 5th floor at 8:30pm.. Its funny because I park at the 5th floor and I left school at 8:25pm... Probably drove out the complex at 8:30... now that I think about it.. its pretty scary... I'm glad that I drove out of there before it happened or else I wouldn't have been able to get my car out...

Anyway... It seems that my dad have been discharged home 2 weeks ago... I believe his conditions are getting better with minor set backs... Its more cleanly at home and we're able to move him around alot.. as in flip him back and forth and change his body positions so he wont get bed sores easily... Although its good for him... it sucks for us because we're with him around the clock watching him all day... Not being able to rest and its just tiring. I love my dad though so I don't mind. I just wish he didn't make so much bowel movements. Hes just on a glucerna diet! Oh well.

On a lighter note! Going to Lee's and Phung's Baby Shower this weekend. It'll be fun just to blow some steam. :) Im going to bake some bunny cake pops and possibly totoro for lil Eris. Yep! Congratulations guys.

Phil's 25th Birthday

My BooBoo turned 25 yesterday. We didn't do much celebrating but we did go shopping. He wasn't too excited haha. We didnt end up doing anything 'fun' 'til around 10pm. We went bowling with his cousins and boy did he get DRUNK!

I've never really seen him this way but I think hes really silly, cheesy, and gentler when hes this way. Although hes cheesy when hes drunk, he can also get into a lot of trouble. I.E. forgetting my name calling me Yen instead of Jen. Making that mistake twice in one night. *grumbles* but its forgiven since he kept telling me how much he loves me on the car ride home.

The night ended with a sink-full of chunks. :)

Great News Tonight

A lot of great news tonight. For the past couple of days I've been ridden with bad news! My first midterm was all bad. My second midterm was alright. My dad got a stroke, he couldn't move his right arm or his right hands/digits. How are we going to pay for the hospital bills etc.

Good news came today. My sister came home to visit. Got my finance midterm scores back and it was pretty good in my book (got a B). Came home to test my dads glucose levels and was happy to see that it went down to 124. I know it might be high but thats after he ate and stuff. Compared to the morning where he just woke up and fasted for 8 hours it was at 133. I was keeping note of his daily activities and diet and it seems the following is a good combination for him...

• A packet of oatmeal followed later with a 10-15 minute walk.
• All day hand and right arm exercises. We're just trying to get his right hand to work again.
• Lunch he had vegetables, boiled chicken, and a little bit of rice.
• At night, all he ate was vegetable soup with more chicken and half an avocado.

His food is really bland but it seems to lower his glucose levels. Anyway, the really really good news is just that he is able to move his right hand a little more strongly a few hours after my sister went home. Maybe she has magical healing powers. Before she left, she told my dad she loved him and gave him a kiss. I know it was awkward but you know old fashion Asian parents don't really know how to reciprocate love. Telling our parents that we love them was kind of weird but it kind of brought my mom to tears this evening when we told her. its just something joyous. I feel like we've just jumped a hurdle. I hope more good news come. It really made my night better knowing my dads feeling better. A felt a little more at ease today. I feel like we're having a better family bond. I know I'm getting emotional but my family, we were close yet very separated. Now we're just in a good place despite the circumstances.

Blue Screen of Death

My desktop received the blue screen of death while I was trying to turn it on. I traded the graphic cards because i've longed assumed that it possible might have been the problem for it to abruptly shut down. I guess it wasn't! I also took out the rams and tried putting them back in, that didn't work. So now I'm stuck with my laptop. Fortunately, I got a replacement adaptor a few weeks ago or else I wouldn't be able to do any of my homework or turn in any of my assignments. Although with time constraints and untimely events, I wasn't able to complete all projects. I was hoping my instructor would be on the more sympathetic side and let me have a few extra days to work since my father went through a stroke but I guess not. Its not an excuse though! I just was planning to finish everything this week and my dad just unexpectedly got sick. I didn't have a choice. Anyway... I had picture of my new nails on my desktop but now its broken so I guess I'll have to wait to post it.

Hectic Week

No real posts last week. My beautiful relatives from Nebraska flew over to visit us for the week. I got to see my adorable neice! Partied at Motif with my cousins and gosh I failed hard! The mission was to get my cousin Jess drunk but I ended up being the messed up one! Boo..

On a more serious note... My daddy recently suffered a stroke on Tuesday. His right arm is kind of paralyzed and his speech is slurred. Honestly im really afraid. He refused to be admitted to the ER but he finally decided to go yesterday. At the moment, my dear old dad is staying overnight at the hospital.  Im not sure how to react but I want to see him home safe and sound tomorrow. I always saw my dad as tough and strong but now I see him and he looks old and frail. I wish everything will be ok. I really dont know  if we'd be able to pay for the bills... Anyway... Take care all.

Treasures from the past!

Was looking at really really old websites of mines and found a ton of old photos. :) My little cousins were so tiny! now they're as big as me. -_- These photos were taken back in 2003. Oh how i miss my high school days! I was actually slim!